The Authicer's Casebook

authicer_ray @ 2009-05-27T00:11:00

2009-05-26T23:20:15Z

Very busy with work. Still several men short and consequently knackered more often than not. Have been working on/researching several semi-historical story ideas during my very precious free time and learning a few things about medieval agricultural practices that I hadn't a clue about.

Hmm. On reflection, that doesn't sound very gripping. "Medieval agricultural practices." Exciting stuff. But I like my writing to be as historically accurate and as free of anachronism as possible. In fact, I'd rather err on the side of describing clothing, farming and other cultural practices that are a trifle out of date (easily explained away by the slow spread of innovation in such times) than make mention of something that hasn't actually been introduced into European society in the era I'm working in.

Strangely enough, I find research one of the most enjoyable parts of writing. I deeply appreciate the chance to learn new things and broaden my horizons.

At least now, when the zombies invade, I'll be able to add a basic knowledge of early farming techniques to my considerable list of "save me and my fiancee, we'll be extremely useful in a post-apocalyptic, technologically retarded post-modern era" skills.

Serious stuff, like. You never know those pesky zombie-types are gonna come knockin'..

A Constructive Weekend

2009-04-27T00:54:04Z

Despite attending the Scottish Pagan Conference on Saturday I have somehow managed to write over 20,000 words this weekend. All without neglecting my dearly beloved.

Yup, you heard me. 20,000 words. As an artist friend of mine commented, "Wow, that's like finishing a painting a day." We had to laugh though, for not a moment afterwords another friend, -one giving an illuminating presentation on a certain deity, and a very talented singer/song-writer in her own right- made a serendipitous comment along the lines off: "Sometimes these things just want to explode out of your head and onto the paper."

People around us seemed a little confused as to why we were both laughing so hard, but as we we're both nodding fairly rapidly at the time, I'm quite certain our speaking friend knew we were laughing in sympathy.

The conference on Saturday certainly provided me with a well-spring of inspiration. Not just from a Pagan point of view but also from a writing aspect. Being around so many artistically inclined and wonderfully talented people never fails to charge my brain. It's such a genuine pleasure to be able to sit and chat about artistic stumbling blocks with creative people from so many disciplines. I was surprised by how often that artists from fields as diverse as song-writing, story-telling, painting and metal-working encounter the same difficulties in their work. Whether struggling to gain exposure, finding an agent, establishing a routine or avoiding being ripped off, every one of us had encountered the same problem. And every one of us had come up with a different, but still workable, solution.

Every writer should sit down with another form of artist or entertainer once in a while. Its truly astonishing how much we have in common. And how much we can learn from one another.

Pottering

2009-04-16T11:45:16Z

Its been a shockingly long time since my last public post on live journal. About time I made another.

At the moment I have a few works in progress. The first is a short article that began life as one of those “What Every Writer Needs to Know About...” essays but quickly grew into something beyond my control. Hence, instead of an article outlining basic military science, I'm working on one that lists about twenty sources that can be used as a starting point for authors who wish to undertake research in this area.

Most of the books are easily available on-line or currently in print and many can be found to this day on the reading list of various Officer-training schools around the world. Naturally, given my military background is British, many of these are on (or were on) the Sandhurst reading list. Others, I came across during my own studies and found useful for one reason or another – whether for the purposes of writing or making myself a better soldier.

Naturally, there will be a strong slant towards post-medieval military theory, but not for the reason one might think. My personal military reference library is well balanced in terms of ancient and modern texts. It's more to do with the relative simplicity of ancient warfare in comparison to the modern concept of military science. In this respect, I'll be nodding to both the fantasy and sci-fi/space opera writers among the sci-fi writers community.

Secondly, I'm working on an alternate history piece, featuring the battle of Bannockburn and the various pseudo-myths that have arisen around it. I'll be telling the tale through the eyes of the oft-overlooked historical figure and Great Captain of History, Sir James Douglas, founding father of the famous – and at times rather infamous- Douglas Earls. A rather interesting figure and something of a conundrum given that he combined a fierce honour and early enthusiasm for the concept of chivalry with a cunning ruthlessness on campaign. Needless to say, he is something of a Hero to those Scots who remember him and a black-hearted villain in the eyes of English Chroniclers

Lastly, I have an idea for a science fiction piece with the working title of “A Fell [or “Foul”] Seed Within Him.” A tale of misery and corruption. Very early stages yet, so no-more word on this one till later. No further on with "Camera Obscura" though but I`ve a few plot and character ideas for the expansion and re-write of Monsters' Lounge.

So, combined with planning a change of address, an up-coming family funeral, being part of a horrendously short-staffed shift and planning for two new additions to the family -don't panic, we're talking Ferrets/Pole-cats here- I've been a rather busy man.

S'great.

Why You Should Never Send a Submission Until 24 hours After the Last Edit

2009-04-09T19:33:54Z

Finally decided to take the plunge and read a submitted manuscript before I receive a return from the editor.

Oh God.

That's why you should always wait twenty-four hours AND THEN READ the latest draft before sending it in for submission. I've hacked and chipped and edited the piece so excessively that the text no longer flows. In fact, the prose is now about as smooth as a B-movie zombie with haleotosis.

Frankly, the manuscript should never have been submitted in the state that it's in. Chalk up another story ruined by my fussy perfectionism. Actually, the draft before the one I sent in is MUCH better. In fact, I should have submitted that one.

I suppose we live and learn. I can`t help but notice a certain degree of maturity in my writing that was not present a decade ago. Even so, I can't help but think that, after all those years of writing military, police and academic reports, my ability to write entertainingly has suffered. I just can't seem to tell a story as well as I used to. Have I lost the magic? Or do I simply need more practice to regain it?

Perhaps I need a writing partner? Maybe I should relegate myself to the status of "idea man" and find someone else to actually write the tales I come up with?

Or maybe I just need to practice more - that, and a good editor who can tell me when I start to over-edit.

Editing, editing. Once again it all comes down to editing. I should have listened to Wylde and Danni when we talked about this six months ago.

Regression

2009-04-01T21:20:44Z

Yesterday evening, I emailed my first “for payment” submission for nearly eleven years. I cannot even begin to expound sufficiently upon the state of my nerves as I did so. Since I resumed writing again just under nine months ago, I've submitted several pieces to various sites and writers' circles for peer review. So far, feedback has been resoundingly positive. Thank God.

Yet last night I submitted a not-yet reviewed project, on which I have received absolutely no feedback whatsoever, let alone peer feedback. Moreover, even more terrifying for a dyslexic writer such as myself, it had been edited only by my own, tired eyes and an Open Office spell-checker.

Having literally completed my fourth draft of the work just minute's before an appointment that could not be missed (no, it wasn't a duel - I might have had some relief if it was) I had no opportunity to request that a trusted, and more importantly, literate friend look over the manuscript.

I am faced with the somewhat unnerving prospect of having submitted a 8000 word short-story to a market with which I have had no previous contact. A market whose editors will form their first impression of my skill as a writer (or lack there-off) based on a work which lies outside my usual comfort-zone, in a genre I know next to nothing about and which, with hindsight, I believe to be top-heavy with theological concepts. Possibly to an extent that will not sustain the readers interest.

I have not felt my bowels flutter so since my first submission to a paying market at the tender age of sixteen. I was lucky enough to see that first submission appear in print only a few weeks later, albeit in the first issue of a pulp magazine which did not survive past it's fourth issue. Even now I can clearly remember the sleepless nights after I posted my work through the red Post Office letter box. How I constantly reviewed every single sentence of that rather bland 3,000 word project , until the daily interruption of my ruminations courtesy of a morning alarm call.

In the 24 hours since it's electronic twin departed my drafts folder, destined for parts unknown, I have deliberately avoided perusing the manuscript. This despite my mouse-pointer having hovered atop its icon onno less than four separate occasions. Though the project is, I hope, fit for publication, it is not my seminal work. My magnus opei. I have not the emotion vested in it as in, for example, my Zama series. Yet still I fret like a rugby debutante on the night of the big game.

I have never, in dozens of conversations; by phone, email or even while squinting in the harsh-light of a convention lounge, met a single author who ever felt than his manuscripts could not be improved upon by a little more work. I am all too aware, however, of the many tales I myself have ruined over the years with fussy re-writes. And yet I cannot bare to open quickeneddeadmanuscript.doc, to risk the breath-stealing realization of a dropped plot-point, a poorly chosen line of dialogue, or the dreaded exclamation mark(!).

Why is it that my older, (I had thought wiser) self is so tormented by an action which, by eighteen, had become so routine as to pass without comment?

A few days ago, I posted a comment on another author's journal. He had sounded rather downcast following receipt of his new book's first negative review. My response was to the effect that even a bad review provides good publicity for a new release. Ergo: no review is bad for sales, only for the ego. The post resounded with the confident nonchalance I had felt ten years ago. Now ,I ask myself, to where has that confidence fled? I have submitted one story, one, to a single paying market.

Yet with one simple action, with a single click of the mouse, I have laid my ego bare. It's fascinating how the mood of a man can change in such swift degrees.

It's remarkable how something so simple can have so pronounced an effect on the equilibrium of a grown man.

Before closing, I wish it make it understood that I will not fall apart should this manuscript of mine be rejected. It is, after all, one manuscript. In a genre that is not my own. A genre farther from my comfort zone than anything I can imagine – hence my attraction to writing it. For every publication there comes countless rejections. I do not write in hope of sympathy or a pep-talk. The fortress of my resolve has not begun to crumble.

I merely swish to share with you my utter mystification at this temporary regression of confidence. I do believe I've even managed to surprise myself.

Finished. Finally.

2009-03-29T14:32:02Z

At last. The first draft for the Quickened Dead is finished. At just over 8000 words I'm somewhat perplexed by how long it took. Normally, when I am enfolded in "The Zone", I can write that much in a single day. Perhaps two at most. Yet this particular tale has taken more than a week to unfold. Of course, we did have that wonderful trip to Edinburgh during that period. However, I find myself wondering if the major factor arose from my lack of knowledge of the Western Genre? Westerns are considerably outside my comfort zone as a writer.

Which was one reason why I wanted to do this project in the first place. That, and the fact I have never written fiction “to order,” before. Granted, this isn't a commissioned piece. I wouldn't want there to be any confusion over that. Rather I was answering an ad for a specific type of fiction. However, I was keen to see if I can still write in response to a specific challenge, rather than simply writing something that I've had kicking around inside my brain all along.

However, seeing as I know next to nothing about the genre or the period, I had to do considerably more research than normal. Rather enjoyable research, however. Without it, I would never have learned about the many aspects of Pueblo culture that make these Native Americans unique. Even when compared to other geographically close nations. I am already considering how to insert a Pueblo-derived culture into some of my other works. An interesting exercise to be sure.

In any case, I find myself a little over my maximum word count (and 2000 words above my own personal target word count) for the Quickened Dead. So a little pruning is in order during the second draft. Hopefully, I'll finish that tonight. The Second draft never takes me longer than the first. Though, on the other hand, they do tend to have a larger word count.

Oh dear.

I'm off to relax and subject myself to some fun to for six or seven hours. I'll et my subconscious work over the six or seven changes I already know I need to make to the story while giving my fore-brain and fingers a well needed rest.

Later.

Camera Obscura

2009-03-26T21:06:00Z

Just returned from a very enjoyable few days in Edinburgh with my dearly beloved better-half.

Had a wonderful time exploring, helped in no small measure by the presence of a travelling companion with infinite patience for my frequent stops to take notes and peer intently at random bits of scroll-work. A patience helped, no doubt, by her own desire to stop and photograph the very same items of interest I myself was perusing.

Thanks to a visit to one of Edinburgh's main attraction's I now have a wealth of story idea's involving a “Camera Obscura” and the nefarious uses to which such a device may be put in the late 16^th or 17^th century. Also have a few more idea's stemming from the humorous (at least, I hope it's humorous, but who am I to judge) short story I wrote about nine months ago and mentioned in these articles.

In particular, I was thinking of taking the premise from my short piece “Monster Lounge” and expanding it into an 80,000 word novel of a sort similar to the “Thraxis” and “Hal Spacejock” titles. Of course, there is already a huge amount of competition in the spec-fic/humour cross-genre, so I won't get myself too excited.

Not yet anyway. Let's try a few comical shorts and see how they fare on the publication market before I try to flog a full-length novel.

Heck, I'm not entirely sure I've even finished Monster Lounge. I feel the need to tinker with it once again as we speak. Alas, best finish the “Quickened Dead,” first though eh? Still have a few more draft's to go before it's ready for submission.

Mind how you go!

The Quickened Dead

2009-03-20T21:24:12Z

I`m currently 2000 words into a 6000 word project for Issue 6 of the Crossed Genre's magazine. It`s a monthly magazine which publishes science fiction/fantasy tales with a monthly theme. The theme for this particular issue is the Western Genre. Luckily, I've had an idea kicking around my head which would work quite well in such a setting.

The Quickened Dead is gritty and ( I hope) macabre tale set in the real-world West of 1846. At least, "real-world" in the sense that Mary Gentle's "Ash" was set in 14 th Century Europe. It`s a tale of Lost Innocence, Religious Intolerance and the pit-falls of Good Intentions. Capital Letters intended.

Hopefully, it should satisfy the editor enough to publish it. Heavens know who else is likely to buy it if they don't.

Six Months

2009-03-16T16:44:24Z

Six months!

Well, it has been a long time hasn't it? It took nearly three months just to have my broadband replaced - Sky didn't bother to check to see if they actually provided Broadband to my postcode area when I called up to ask if they did. The end result being many weeks of wrangling over whether or not I would be paying an installation fee for a dish (and and other hardware) I`d never actually be able to use.

Then, in February, we finally managed to get the place to ourselves/ Hence my dearly beloved and I could go back to BT, our original provider, with our hat in hand and rework our old agreement with them.

End result I`m back online. Back writing and up to loads of interesting things. Think my next article will be about designing Urban settings in a Historic Medieval/ Quasi-Medieval Fantasy tale.

Oh, other articles in the pipeline will include a discussion on traditional tropes and the Fourth Wall.

I`m off to reply to my fifty-four messages and apologise to everyone whose been wondering where I`ve been.

Zama

2008-09-03T21:12:58Z

Well, finally, night shift is over and I can once again resume writing. All the more so because I have two weeks off (apart from the one day they couldn`t find cover for) for writing, relaxing and my coming handfasting.

I`ve just begun reading the "Lions Whelp" by Nigel Tranter, and while I`m glad I did I`m also raging. Why? Because it`s given me even more ideas for the Zama series. In effect, the main story I`ve been working on has now become a sequal. The Lion's Whelp is based on the relationship between Sir Alec, Thane of Gilmess and the boy-king James the II of Scotland (ancestor of James the VI who went on to become James the I of England). Alas, this relationship -and the circumstances which brought it about (regicide, rebellion and a chance encounter with one of the few honourable young nobles in the country at the time) rather mirros the back-story I`d created for one of the main characters.

Well, several of them actually, when you consider that the main character of the novel is the city-state of Zama itself. Rather, I should say, the early events of the novel mirror the backstory of the cities ruling family. All in all it`s not a huge problem, as I envisioned the Zama series as encompassing about 100-120 years of the cities history and four generations of tales regarding it`s inhabitants. All this new inspiration means is that I`ll have to begin the tale about ten years earlier than I`d originally intended.

So no great loss. Bonus, in fact.

Writing Like Crazy

2008-08-23T02:44:47Z

With my fiance having spent the better part of a week House-sitting for her mum, I`ve been tapping away like a man possessed, working on my long running Zama project. For those who may not have picked up on the concept of the Zama series, it`s inspired by the works of Colleen McCulloch. Particularly her "Masters of Rome" series.

This series essentially tracks the history and major development of the Late Roman Republic through to the Early Roman Empire as told through the eyes of such pivitol figures as Marius, Sulla, Rufus, Pompei, Brutus and Ceaser. The Zama series is similar in scope, mood and intent, telling the story of a fictional society (combining cultural and military elements from diverse real world civilsations such as Troy, Carthage and Phoenecia) as it endures a gradual descent from supremacy, through stagnation and, finally, dramatic extinction in the wake of a growing external evil and it's own internal corruption.

Its a story I`ve been working on since I first envisioned the culture in question ( in a very rough form) in my earliest short stories (well, paragraphs really) at the age of eight. Finally, now, some twenty years later, I feel I have the emotional and literary maturity to begin telling this tale in earnest. And the words are flowing so swiftly I simply can`t stop. In fact, I should be going to bed. I should be waking up in a minute!

Anyway, as a result of this torrent I haven`t posted anywhere, either here or on the sci-fi writers community, for going-on a month now. That will be rectified shortly with a short essay on leadership theory and practice. Most authors seem more than capable of instinctively grasping exactly what it is that make men follow a charismatic leader into near-certain death. But this coming essay will outline the theory behind leadership (as taught at Royal Military Academy Sandhurst), and explain why not all the worlds great leaders, military or otherwise, led through (or even possessed) charisma.

On the other hand, I have been writing a great deal of ancients "Sword and Sandals" era military fiction recently. Perhaps a basic essay on late bronze/early iron tactics would be more appropriate? Time will tell.

Writing Like Crazy

2008-08-17T15:01:03Z

No, I`ve not abandoned my update. I'm just in the zone and typing like mad. Tell you more about it later. When I`ve run out of steam.

Monster Lounge

2008-07-25T23:07:17Z

I`ve gone back and taken yet another look at Monster Lounge. What I can`t quite figure out is what I don't like about it. Every time I take a fresh approach to one scene in particular (or rather, the transition from one particular scene to the next) I become more and more disatisifed with the result. Yet try as I might I cannot find a solution or re-write of that particular portion of writing that I like better.

I wonder? Am I over-editing again? Part of me is resigned to the fact that I am once again alowing myself to use this one niggling flaw as an excuse to avoid the hassle of making another submission. Should I just send the thing off as is? As yet, I can`t bring myself to submit a yarn to anyone that I`m not 100% sure is ready. Yet it's been forever since I first wrote the thing in a one-night frenzy. I've been tweaking the damned thing for weeks.

What to do? What to do?

Whoops

2008-07-24T23:55:54Z

Well, I just posted another article on Sci-fi writers journal, this time concerning just how tough the human body really is. I say whoops because not only have I STILL not figured out the art of the LJ-Cut, I`ve over edited to the point where the undited version had fewer grammatical errors and spelling mistakes than the edited version.

Which reminds me, I really have to hunt and hire a professional editor. It seems that with every successive draft I do the editing simply worsen's. I end up repeating words in the same sentence as well as inserting completely new sentences in places that break up the flow of the dialogue. Grrr. Why am I making so many school boy errors?

In fact it`s worse than embarressing, it's downright depressing. Here I am posting on a journal group for authors, and making spelling mistakes. It doesn`t exactly inspire confidence in the factual content of my posts and implies a certain degree of laziness in my writing when in fact the opposite is true.

Ah well. I suppose I should be used to feeling like an idiot by now. Next week, I`m considering a post on leadership. Most writers seem to understand the "charisma" school of leadership, but there is more to good leadership than exhorting the men and leading from the front.

I suppose I`ll wait and see what the reaction is to my latest, horribly slap-dash post first.

What Every Writer Needs to Know About..... Horses.

2008-07-19T21:31:34Z

Over the last few weeks, I`ve once again encountered several pet hates of mine: lazy writers who manage to create a wonderful and evocative fantasy world, but manage to fall down when it come`s to basic research into things as simple as what a horse is capable of or how to describe a realistic sword-fight.

Sure, it`s a fantasy world, but to craft an all immersive reading environment, every setting requires at least some degree of consistency. It`s hard to maintain a gritty and evocative environment when a writer fails to take into account the effects of rain on visibility – or has a half-naked, magic-less barbarian warrior wading through a snowstorm sans loin cloth with little regard for the effects of hypothermia.

Not just lazy writing, but a sound example of a potential for drama lost.

Here then, on both the sci-fi writers group and my own journal page, shall begin a series of short essays on these common “writing gaffs”. The first essay is with regards to just what it takes to properly care for a horse, as well as a description of just how much punishment a horse can take before keeling over dead.

The Care and Handling of Horses:

Endurance:

Contrary to popular belief among fantasy and even historical fiction novelists, a horse is NOT an organic sports car. Riding a horse is not simply a case of putting fuel in one end and then steering the thing as it gallops across the landscape at thirty miles an hour for days on end.

In fact, riding a horse is not much quicker than walking. A good horse (with rider) can cover about thirty miles a day in rolling country. Over the same terrain, a fit man could cover about thirty miles in ten hours (A Zulu warrior could famously run fifty miles or so in a day and still be fit to fight at the end of it). While the top-speed of a horse is certainly much greater than that of a human, unlike early human hunters, a horse cannot run all day without suffering from exhaustion and, eventually, death. Like humans, horses sweat profusely while exerting themselves physically. Like humans, but unlike most other animals; horses tend to sweat across most of their body surface, allowing them to control their temperature for longer periods.

However, horses sweat a great deal, as anyone who has every watched the Grand National can tell you. Like human sweat, horse sweat requires the excretion of a great deal of salt. Horses cannot replace salt from their diet as well as humans can, largely because, unlike humans, horses do not eat meat. This makes it harder for a horse to recover from a hard run.

The best policy for speed is to alternate short bursts of running or trotting with a longer period of simply walking the horse. In fact, even better practice for keeping a horse healthy is to get off the damn thing and walk for ten minutes or so after every hour of riding.

The average horse needs to be rested and fed three to four times a day on a long journey. Especially while carrying a human. To avoid becoming ill, a horse needs at least an hour or so to cool down before it can be safely fed. Likewise, after feeding and drinking it requires at least an hours rest to avoid becoming bloated and ill. Trust me, nothing smells so foul as horse vomit and diarrhoea.

Oh, and be sure to give its muscles and coat a good rub down even after a short run. Horses can get muscle sprains and other injuries as easily as you do.

This is one of the main reasons why horses tend to drop dead on a forced march much sooner than a walking human.

Diet

In fact, ancient, medieval and modern military manuals agree that an average horse on campaign consumes 10lbs of grain and 10 lbs of fodder a day. It also needs about 80 lbs of water. That’s right. 80lbs! An ox needs about 150! It’s just not possible for most horses (especially the larger breeds) to survive on grass and forage alone over a long period (by which I mean more than a few days). Especially if the horse in question has to carry the weight of a rider, as well as his gear.

For a long expedition then, a second horse or mule (to carry the horse food, not extra gear for the humans) is essential. A heavily laden pack mule needs about as much food and water in a day as a horse and carry enough fodder and grain to keep itself fed for about 27 days. So if a rider has one horse and one mule, he can travel for only about 2 weeks before he needs to stop for more supplies for his animals. Let’s hope the horse is strong enough to carry the human’s food as well as the human.

Personality:

Horses run the full range of personality types found in most animals. But on the whole, they have an annoying tendency to be lazy, stupid, self-destructively curious and even, in some cases, malicious.

The average horse can be developed in a full fledge character of its own. In the novel, “Ash,” by Mary Gentle, each of the title characters three horses had it’s own, well-developed personality. Don’t overlook the value and potential of the hero’s mount as a storytelling character.

Secondly, from a writing perspective, most horses have a healthy sense of self-preservation. A hero cannot simply jump on the back of any old nag and expect it to charge cheerfully off into battle with him. Horses are stupid – but their not THAT stupid. Like most humans, they aren’t too keen at the thought of riding into battle. It takes years to train a modern day police horse not to shy away from crowds, let alone rioting mobs. Warhorses were specially trained and bred for battle. A warhorse would be at least three years old before anyone would even consider riding them into a fight. An untrained horse will buck, shy away from, and even throw a rider it has known for years in order to avoid a battle or a fire. Don’t even THINK about trying to take one near an elephant. Not unless you want to be trampled by a very angry dobbin!

That being said, it`s not unknown for even a simple riding horse to stand valiantly over its fallen rider, defending it to the last. The poor thing would be foaming around the mouth in terror at the time, mind you, but it does happen.

Horse Riding:

It can take weeks of practice to learn to ride a horse properly. A very painful experience let me tell you, especially for the inner thigh and, as many writers forget, the calves. The latter can become especially painful if the stirrups are not adjusted correctly or absent altogether. Which reminds me, don’t bother using shock cavalry tactics if the riders are bareback or without stirrups. Charging with a spear poised like lance when you don’t have a stirrup is a sure way to end up on the ground with your opponent laughing at you as he shoves his sword through your gut. Before the invention of the stirrup, cavalry were strictly scouts and skirmishers rather than shock troops.

Most horses are either bridle or stirrups trained. That is, most horses are trained to respond to instructions given either by tapping the bridle against the side of the neck or by poking them in the ribs with your heel, stirrup or spur. A very few horses are trained to respond to verbal commands or pressure from the riders knee or thigh. Some horses may be trained in two or more such methods. Generally, show horses and gentle riding horses are trained to the bridle. Less delicate horses, and breeds trained to military or police service, (or used in some other role where the rider is likely to require use of both hands) are generally stirrup or even knee trained.

So make sure your hero knows what sort of commands the horse will respond to when he jumps down upon its back - perhaps he takes the time to observe how the locals ride while scouting out the scene of his latest escapade, for example. However, the potential comedy value in having a stirrup trained rider jump onto a bridle trained mount to make his escape is immense. It’s one I`ve used to good effect myself more than once.

THE GENDER OF YOUR HORSE MATTERS.

There’s a reason most warhorses were geldings (yes, horses can be eunuchs too) or mares.

All to often, the hero of our tale rides around on a big stallion. Owww. Not good. While its possible to ride a stallion, you’d have to be mad to do it. Especially if you happen to be female and aged between 12 and fifty.

Generally a stallion is used as breeding stock and that’s it. For one thing, stallions tend to be a mite rowdy at the best of times and downright uncontrollable around a mare in season. Plus it’s no myth that menstruating female humans should avoid being anywhere near a stallion in heat. Male horses really do pick up on female pheromones, and some have a hard time controlling themselves around human females experiencing that time of the month.

So for Red Sonya that horse was all wrong (sorry Howard, you’re a writing legend and one of my literary heroes, but a Texan should have known better). In fact, several historical records feature anecdotes regarding some damn fool who tried to ride into battle on a stallion. Most end with him lying in the dirt inside a circle of his mates all pointing fingers at him and laughing themselves sick. The rest end with him lying in a circle of enemies with a great big bloody spear in his gut.

So, no stallions. Especially not in battle.

SUMMARY:

So as you can see, horse’s and cars really don’t have a lot in common, other than the fact the crap that comes out of the back end isn’t exactly good for global warming. I`m sure after even a cursory glance at this article, most people can look back and think of a few authors who really should have spent a few more hours in research than they did. Of course, the best way to find out about horses is to go and ride one. I heartily recommend it to you all. I also hope that this article has been of use to you. Let me know if it has been, in which case I`ll probably do another in a similar vein.

Perhaps one on just how hard it actually is to kill a human being. What fun!

The Glory of the Writer's Notebook.

2008-06-23T21:19:26Z

For many years, I carried a small, brown suede-covered book about the size of wallet around with me. Everywhere I went, no matter what the occasion, it rode in my coat pocket like a chihuawa riding an old lady's handbag. Friends and loved ones would be amused (and sometimes mortified) when I whipped the thing out and starting recording some witty or insightful comment I had heard, even going to far as to ask someone nearby (often a complete stranger) to repeat what they had just said so that I could record it exactly.

"I’m a writer." I’d explain somewhat coyly. More often than note (pun intended to be diabolically awful) the bewildered individual so recently accosted by this rude (not altogether un-attractive young man :P) would reply with some attempt at a pithy remark. Such as:

"Just name a character after me."

I pathologically could not walk down a street without whipping this out to attempt to ink a word picture of someone’s unusual posture, gait or accent. I'd be walking past a random newsagent when a headline on a billboard would catch my eye and I’d scribble it down, often giggling (even cackling) to myself in sheer glee.

I couldn't even read a book, or walk past a monument, without having to pause for a second to record a moment captured in time. Famously, I would often whip out my British Army TAM's (Tactical Aide Memoir) to scribble down some military anecdote, witticism or wisdom mouthed by Co lour Sergeant Wiseman, WO2 "Davie-Death" Crichton or Captain Chapman in the middle of an exercise,briefing or even while I was teaching a class.

"Urban Ops, FIBUA, OBUA, WIBUA, Urban Warfare? What’s it called this year sir? Ah f**k it! We’ll stick to callin' it FISCH - Fighting in Some C**ts Hoose!" (This last part said by Colour Sgt. Wiseman as an aside to a Brigadier General in the middle of a classroom - my classroom- while I was giving a lesson on Urban Warfare).

So why am I talking about all this? The answer is simple. I finally found my dear old book, replete with descriptions, observations, wonderful quotes and biblical references for all occasions.

Even after all these years, the recollections in that old book, separated from the here and now by the stretch of years, speak to me of times (and friends) long past and churn the creative fluids of my brain into a fine and chunky yoghurt of ideas. When I started writing once again, one of the first things I did was buy a new writers notebook. I can’t recommend it enough as a cure for writers block, or a place to record ideas - like that set piece that popped into your head and won't let go, even though you don't have a plot to slot it into yet. Or that wonderfully evocative description of rain pattering against the leaves you just heard at the bus-stop.

(Writer's shouldn`t drive - I hear so many great lines on the subway!)

Personally I can think of no better cure for writers block that leafing through your notebook. No better way to find a more evocative way of making a point that leafing through its sacred pages for the hint of a scribbling epiphany.

Get your own little magic-writers-notebook. You won't regret it. I promise.

Dealing With Rejection Letters

2008-06-23T16:13:58Z

Not that rejection letters bother me that much. More because it`s a good excuse to share my favorite poem. That is, the poem by which i try to live my life.

"IF"
by Rudyard Kipling.

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream -- and not make dreams your master;
If you can think -- and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings -- nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run --
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And -- which is more -- you'll be a Man, my son!

Kilmartin

2008-06-14T14:52:36Z

Just returned from a three camping trip to Kilmartin, "The Valley of Ghosts", the sort of place where you can`t walk 100 yards before spotting a cairn or a ruin or standing stone. This wonderful place has 10,000 years of Scottish history ripe for the viewing, with everything from early wood age and stone age artifacts (including musical instruments) on display at the wonderful Kilmartin House museum, to Cairns dating to 3000BC to the sepctacle of Dunnald, where Dalriadan Kings were "crowned" in 800AD to a 16th century tower-house designed to imitate a late 14th century castle.

Where is the connection to writing you might ask? For shame! Where's your sense of history. Those three days provided enough inspiring sights and vignettes for scenes to keep my writing needs supplied for a decade.

As I`ve already mentioned in the Science -Fiction writers circle (see here) my fiction reads almost like a "historical novel" (well, maybe not with Monster Lounge but there you go). I like to explore, not the human condition, but how a given world evolves in response to events and how these events shape the people who live in the world. That is, rather than to writing fiction which focuses on how people change the world, I write fiction that examines how the world changes people.

Given the sense of history and detailed setting that I try to evoke, is it any wonder I find a place so steeped in history so inspirational. Never before have I been able to observe the shaping of a world (in this case, the Valley of Ghosts) in so much detail, from the evolution of fortifictions from simple islands of piled stones in the lochs and rivers to the mighty fortress' of the Clans of Argyle.

It really was like stepping through history.

Pictures to follow.

PS: Sat the Viking Age Test. Here are my results.

The Viking Age Persona Test

Your Score: Explorer

You scored 40% leadership, 26% spirituality, 35% violence and 19% intelligence!

LEADER - SPIRITUAL - VIOLENT - UNEDUCATED Possibly the most famous Norseman of all is Eirik the Red, who discovered Greenland. He was exiled from Norway for killing a man, so he decided to sail west until he found something, which just so happened to be Greenland. Trusting in the gods to keep you safe with your sword by your side to ward off any troublesome trolls and skraelings in new lands you discover, you are the glamourous viking explorer. You name will be remembered forever and the skalds will sing for centuries of your daring exploits in uncharted lands.

Take the test here

Broadband Woe

2008-05-21T23:00:16Z

Haven`t posted in a while - nor replied to several messages. The unfortunate result of Broadband issues combined with age combined with working back shift. Haven`t managed much in the way of writing. Had a few new ideas which I`ll start as soon as Monster Lounge is wrapped. I`ve added a few hundred words and changed a few sentences here and there. I still need to work on linking the last few set pieces more effectively though - and the pacing in then end sequence still requires some more tweaking. Will hopefully finish up by weeks end and start submitting.

Will take the time to post a more complete entry soon.

Had a nice lady (a fellow scribbler no less) and her husband come into the office today. A first time writer, she needed some info on Police procedures and help with research. I wasn`t able to help out in terms of directing her to the relevant department, but I was at least able to point her in the direction of a few handy websites and blogs which she should find useful.

Inspired

2008-05-17T13:29:49Z

Inspiration has struck, oh yeah!

Having the attention span of an ADH hamster can be a pain in the coccid sometimes, but boy does it have it’s uses. With the wall reached on my current project, I needed something to take my conscious mind off my developing plot for a while and onto something a little more light hearted.

How’s about a little comedy satire? How about a short based on life from the point of view of the monster in a roleplaying game?

Type to yah’s later, I have a story to write!

****** Addendum added at 16:55*****

Damn, when the muse hits, the muse really hits. In a little over two hours I`ve put just a few hundred words shy of 4 grand down on paper. True, it's ONLY the first draft and not even spell-checked. But that's the story told from beginning right through to it's logical end. It's chock full of gamer jokes, sci-fi references and even some excerpts from classical literature (how the hell I managed to put that into a satire I`ll never know).

Alas, I got carried away. The story probably ends way too suddenly (I tend to get overly excitable when I can feel the end of a story coming on) so one of my first tasks when I begin the next draft will be to flesh out the last couple of hundred words or so.

Luckily the missus will be home soon and I can trust her for an honest critique. I guess I`ll know then if the Monster Lounge has the potential to be as golden as I think it is, or else tripe for the compost heap.

Truthfully, i`m very concerned. I know that sometimes, when inspiration hits, the words just seem to flow las fast as utorrent before a big movie release. But I`m very concerned I may have forced it just a little too much. And that there may be a bit too many gags in there for the word count to sustain (and the gags themselves may be a little overdone).

Normally I dont write humerous pieces (or rather, attempts to be humerous). I`m one of those guys that tends to be funny by accident, rather than on purpose. I`m understandably eager (and extremely anxious) to hear what she has to say on it.

I`ll let you know how it goes.

YWriter4 and other Cool Things.

2008-05-16T13:06:18Z

YWriter4 and Other Cool Things.

Fine, fine, I`ve already written an entry for today. Clearly I’m doing everything I can to avoid writing the next thousand words or so for my current project. So sue me. It’s not like I have an agent, or a publisher, with dead-lines for me to meet.

Not yet anyway.

Besides, I simply had to drop a few lines about this great piece of free, free FREE writing software I came across while insomnia-browsing in the wee small hours of last night. It’s a piece of writing-tool software designed by the sci-fi comedy author, Simon Haynes, to help him organise the various chapters and scenes of his own works.

Haynes has very kindly made his YWRITER4 software available to download from his website free of charge. As writing-kits go, it blows the socks of such commercially available programs as “Writers Block” and “NewWriter”, both in terms of cost and ease of use.

http://www.spacejock.com/yWriter4.html

Additionally, Simon has created dozens of other useful programs, all of which are available on his web-site, including one for keeping track of such things as query-letter and manuscript subscriptions. All good, clean, yummy stuff.

As if that wasn’t enough, Haynes has kindly made available numerous short articles that serve to guide new authors through the pitfalls of writing, selling and then marketing your novel. Each of these articles includes helpful links leading to sites which provide additional writing tips and tutorials.

http://www.spacejock.com.au/Articles.html

Two of the links he provides stand out as being especially helpful for those budding young authors who are looking to find themselves an agent. That’s because the site’s in questions are Blogs belonging to literary agents who have been rather successful in their field. Complete with real-life examples of manuscripts and proposals that have been accepted or rejected, along with the reasons why.

Miss Snark

http://misssnark.blogspot.com/

Pub Rants (As in Publisher Rants, in case your thinking it's all about beer. It isn't. Just mostly).

http://pubrants.blogspot.com/

Take a look at the website for more items all you writers out there might find to be of interest, including the “Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine” (a short-fiction mag) and the Hal Spacejock novel series.

http://www.andromedaspaceways.com/

Insomnia

2008-05-16T12:19:03Z

Insomnia.

It’s a strange malady. Usually, my insomnia is brought about by a 7 night long graveyard shift, locking up scumbags and less commendable members of society and trying to avoid being forced to spit my teeth out through my nostrils.

However, last night, despite having just finished one such shift cycle of nightly carnage in which an 86 year old dementia patient went missing, four children were murdered (two by their own suicidal father) and countless thugs and petty villains earned another well-deserved “plunge” or two, it wasn’t my perennially confused biological clock keeping me awake.

Oh no.

It was bloody toothache. A situation exacerbated somewhat (I love that word – no, I relish that word. Every chance I have to use that word makes me shiver. Ahem. Right) by the fact I can’t find an NHS dentist ANYWHERE. So for over a month, despite a head resounding with story, plot and characterisation ideas, I have hardly set a word to paper.

All because I’m plagued by not one, not two but THREE wisdom teeth,.All of which have manifestly decided to erupt from my gums with the kind of synchronism rarely seen outside of swimming pools occupied by teams of scantily clad women.

With rubber caps on (The women, not my teeth).

To make matters worse, they (the teeth) seem have reached some sort of agreement where they take it turns to keep me awake all night in a symphony of twinges, bleeds and outright screams that end in a crescendo of painful squeal's induced by lovely, ripe, pus-filled infected gums. Lovely imagery eh? Though whatever noises (i.e: moans) seem to be escaping from my tightly clenched jaw in those rare, few hours of snatched sleep, they certainly don’t sound anywhere near as musical as that last bit makes out.

At least, not according to my long-suffering, nurturing, better half.

This blog, then, is the result of three vaguely rectangular, individual slices of bone tissue. I point this out so that you can remind me later that (despite any future claims to the contrary) it has absolute nothing to do with having my friends nag and moan that they never seem to see me anymore (I mean, you’d think they’d be grateful) and wanting to keep in touch.

No, its all down to toothache keeping me, a bloody-minded (and presently) bloody-mouthed individual from catching well deserved (and surely needed) beauty sleep.

So hence this, a writing blog designed to help me keep track of the progress I’ve been making on my latest project, as well as somewhere to “free write” trivial nonsense about my life to keep my friends informed whenever the impulse (or the dreaded writers block) takes hold.

Just don’t say I didn’t warn you. I can be pretty banal at times. But something tells me that, having read this far, you probably already know that.

Ave.